EXPRESSING SYMPATHY

EXPRESSING SYMPATHY
What To Say... How To Help

Expressing sympathy ...

So your best friend just lost her teenage son in a car wreck... What a tragedy! You are just devastated and so saddened by the news.But, Geez! What do you say to your friend? How can you possibly help or lessen her pain for her? Well, you can't, but there are things you can say or do to provide genuine support for a fellow human in need. What you can do is lend an ear, provide support, and just let them know you care. You really cannot fix anything for them, so don't even try. What you can do is offer to help in some way... and make good on the offer. Oftentimes, you might hear a sympathetic friend say "Just call if you need anything". This lets them off the hook. They express blanket offers of help, then exit the scene as quickly as possible.

 

So, Expressing Sympathy is an expression or feeling of pity and sorrow when we know and see someone or people are unlucky or have trouble and in bad condition. By expressing sympathy we want to show our concem or carefulness on other people's condition .

How can we give Sympathy Expression to someone :
We express it directly to him/her orally or we can use a letter or card by post also by short massage service (sms), e-mail, television, radio, and newspaper if he/she who got the trouble is far from us .

Expressing Symphty

I’m so sorry to see you in this state.

I can’t tell you how sorry I am.

I’m so sorry to hear about that.

I know how it feels.

I’m extremely sorry to hear about it.

I’m sorry. What a bad luck!

I’m terribly sorry.

I’m sorry to hear that.

That’s terrible.

Oh, that’s unfortunate! I’m sorry.

Oh no! I’m ever so sorry.

Oh, bad luck. I’m terribly sorry.

Oh, that’s terrible.

Oh, how upsetting!

Oh, that’s rotten.

Oh, how annoying!

Bad luck! (Comment)

Bad luck, misfortune

He had the bad luck/misfortune…

She was unlucky.

Our deepest condolences/sympathy.

Our heartfelt sympathy/condolences.

Oh, it’s such a shame! That’s a pity!

Oh, poor jane. What happened to her?

That’s a crying shame – it really is!

      That must have been awful

That's too bad.

You must be very upset about it.

You’ll get well soon.

You must be very upset

What an awful situation for you!

What bad luck!

When did he die? Was it very sudden?

What a nuisance

Did he suffer very much?

Bad luck, Mary. You can always try again.

How terrible for you!

Hard luck, John! I know you had worked so hard for the test.

How awful!

How pity you are

All are in game.
He/She was a wonderful person.
He/She will be missed.
I am deeply sorry for your loss.
I am sorry.

I love you more now.
If there is anything we can do, let us know.
It is all in game.
It is part of God's plan.
It is time to get on with your life.
Let by-gone be by-gone.
Our thoughts and prayers are with you.
Please accept my condolences.
Please, do not worry about what happened.
She/He is in a better place.
This is nature.

We are here for you. Call when you need us.
We are with you.
We could do very little.
We feel sorry for what happened.
We will always be with you.
We will miss deceased name.
You and your family are in our thoughts.

Expressing condolences

Please accept my condolences.

Mary, my deepest sympathy on your sad loss.

I heard about your tragic loss. I’m extremely sorry.

I heard what happened. My deepest sympathy, John.

I heard your uncle is dead. I’m sorry. I’m very sorry to hear your sister is dead.

I’m very sorry to hear about your father. He was such a good man.

You have my deepest sympathy.

You are in my prayers.
You are in our hearts.

Responding to Sympathy :

     Thank you !

     God gives and god take away.

     That’s life.

     That’s very kind of you.

     It’s god’s will i suppose.

It was nothing

Right.

You're right.

That's right.

       HOW TO HELP
            A BEREAVED FAMILY OR FRIEND  

---

Expressing sympathy...

• Take over a Honey Bak'd Ham, or a plate of sandwiches... hand it to them in person, with a hug.
   
• Bake 3 dozen homemade chocolate chip cookies.
   
• Offer to clean up the place for them... and do it (yes, even the bathroom).
   
• Spend an evening playing cards with them, or putting together a jigsaw puzzle or art project.
   
• Make a list of all their sympathy gifts, who gave what, and offer to help write thank you cards.
   
• Take the kids to the zoo, bowling or the movies.
   
• Take the bereaved person out for a walk in the fresh air. Let him talk and don't interrupt.
   
• Sit them down to help pay the bills and balance the checkbook.
   
• Help them make a "to-do" list for the coming week.
   
• Let them know you are bringing over a spaghetti dinner one night, complete with salad and garlic bread.
   
• Offer a big hug and let them cry on your shoulder... and don't tell them "everything will be alright".
   
• If you feel that your friend is "losing it" and unable to cope or function, or using drugs or too much alcohol to cope, urge them to get professional help, and help them find the resources. (Books, support groups, counseling).
   
• Cut and trim the lawn. Rake the leaves. Wash the car.
   
• Help make a grocery list, then go do the shopping for them.
   
• Even if you have "been there for them", a written letter or note of condolence can also be a helpful and comforting gesture. (See the section on sympathy letters, or send one of our comforting sympathy cards).
   
• Send or deliver in person a thoughtful sympathy gift.
   
• (Later in bereavement): Take your friend out to dinner or a movie. Don't abandon them because you might feel a little awkward. Bereavement takes a long time. Be patient and let your friend know you will be there for the long haul. Never tell them you think it is time for them to move on. Grief is personal and each person has her own private timetable for her "griefwork".

Example conversation in English to express sympathy.

Student : Hello, good morning sir !
Teacher : Good morning .
Student : May I know why you look sad, Sir?
Teacher : I’m really upset, you know ? my uncle passed away day before yesterday.
Student : I’m sorry to hear that, Sir.
Teacher : In fact, it was he who brought me up. He was my godfather too.

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PERSONAL LETER

A personal letter is a type of letter which provides communication between a small number of people, usually two. Personal letters may be short or long but they usually chatty and informal. There are many types of personal letters and they are written for a wide variety of reasons:

• One person wishes to attain information from an individual or a business.
• One person wishes to tell somebody about themselves, as in pen pals.
• One person wishes to present to an individual or a business a social note, such as a thank-you or a congratulation.
• One person wishes to communicate with an acquaintance - friend or family, for example in order to maintain and reinforce the bond between them.

Format for a Friendly or Personal Letter

The following picture shows what a one-page friendly or personal letter should look like. The horizontal lines represent lines of type. Click your mouse pointer on any part of the picture for a description and example of that part.

Friendly or Personal Letters

Personal letters, also known as friendly letters, and social notes normally have five parts. 

 

·       1. The Heading. This includes the address, line by line, with the last line being the date. Skip a line after the heading. The heading is indented to the middle of the page. If using preaddressed stationery, add just the date.

·         2. The Greeting. The greeting always ends with a comma. The greeting may be formal, beginning with the word "dear" and using the person's given name or relationship, or it may be informal if appropriate.

      Formal: Dear Uncle Jim, Dear Mr. Wilkins,

      Informal: Hi Joe, Greetings,

(Occasionally very personal greetings may end with an exclamation point for emphasis.)

·         3. The body. Also known as the main text. This includes the message you want to write. Normally in a friendly letter, the beginning of paragraphs is indented. If not indented, be sure to skip a space between paragraphs. Skip a line after the greeting and before the close.

·         4. The complimentary close. This short expression is always a few words on a single line. It ends in a comma. It should be indented to the same column as the heading. Skip one to three spaces (two is usual) for the signature line.

·         5. The signature line. Type or print your name. The handwritten signature goes above this line and below the close. The signature line and the handwritten signature are indented to the same column as the close. The signature should be written in blue or black ink. If the letter is quite informal, you may omit the signature line as long as you sign the letter.

Surviving personal letters are often an important source of information about the lives of historical figures. Personal letters can be divided into two broad categories, based on the intended recipient: person-to-person letters and person-to-business letters . Person-to-Person Letters

Person-to-person letters are letters that one individual sends to another individual that deal with personal matters, as opposed to business matters.

This is the example of personal letter. The letter is written by Nida. It is dedicated to Hery.

Karanganyar, 21st December 2009

To : Hery
Karanganyar Street No 23 Demak 59582

Dear Hery,

Hi Hery, how is everything? I hope you are fine. I am well in these few days.

Her, I want to tell you about my holiday. I went to Mount Muria last holiday. I went to the Montel Waterfall. It was interesting. I took some picture there. I bought some souvenir for you.

I think that all. I am looking forward to hear from you.

Love

Nida

The following links go to real-life templates of the most commonly requested person-to-person letters:
Character reference letter - personal friend/colleague reference.

Church letter - to parents re: child's birthday.

Condolence letter - to an acquaintance or colleague.

Friendly letter - to a colleague and sports buddy.

Goodbye letter - farewell letter to co-workers.

Love letter - to someone you've known for a while.

Letter of apology - to a neighbor or acquaintance.

Letter of complaint - water damage complaint to neighbor.

Letter of congratulations - to a friend or colleague.

Letter of personal reference - recommending a personal friend.

Letter of resignation - resign from a committee.

Letter of sympathy - to family of a friend and/or colleague.

Letter of thanks - to friends or acquaintances.

Letter of welcome - to a new community member.

Romantic love letter - after a special evening.

Teacher letter to parents - beginning of year guidelines.

Thank you letter - personal thanks to a family member.

Person-to-business letters

Person-to-person letters are letters that one individual sends to business. Usually, using formal words.

   Letters that some people loosely define as personal letters which are NOT personal letters at all include: covering letters, employee letters, introduction letters, marketing letters, publicity letters, project letters, customer relation letters, financial and credit letters, order-related letters, sales and marketing letters, follow-up letters, announcements, fundraising letters, among others.